(no subject)

[storybrooke_savior]

The end of the year had sucked. No point in sugar coating it, it sucked. Christmas had sucked and the New Year wasn't holding out much hope of getting better, either.

A couple of weeks prior Emma had sent out a stark text message to anyone she'd thought would care (though only after a frantic thorough search of the entire damned city) that Hook was gone, and no, she didn't want to talk about it. After that, she'd turned off her phone for a bit and shut herself up in her apartment, lied and told them at the station she had the flu. The only person she'd let in, physically or emotionally, was Henry.

She'd probably still have been cocooned under a pile of blankets if she hadn't run out of ice cream and wine.

After taking a much-needed shower and resentfully tugging on a pair of jeans and a mostly clean hoodie, Emma decided against driving (driving with a wine buzz: bad idea) and walked from her apartment building to the closest convenience store. Halfway there she sat down heavily on a bench, hands shoved into her pockets and shoulders hunched to fend off the cold, because she hadn't thought to grab a scarf or gloves.

She wanted to be so damned angry, so furious. Well, no, scratch that: she was furious. What she wanted was something to direct it towards. Something or someone tangible that she could rage at, because cursing the Powers That Be had never made her feel any better.

But lacking any other target, she ended up being angry at herself. For being stupid enough to take the risk, knowing that this outcome was entirely possible.

"Fuck," she cursed softly, swinging her feet and kicking at loose gravel.

Just...fuck it. Fuck it all. Why bother? Why bother trying to make a life here? What was the point in getting attached to people, then waking up one day and bam, they were gone. And even if they came back, they wouldn't remember a damned thing.

Why even try anymore?

Comments

[princehonorable]

He'd asked Henry (very politely, but firmly) to tell him where Emma was and on finding out, went looking for her in the usual spots. He's been wanting to come after her for weeks, but figured she might need some space after Hook had vanished. He'd been in a similar situation one of the many times he'd lost Snow, but now he's tired of waiting. He'd entrusted Neal to someone in the building and went after Emma.

Now that he's found her, he can't help wanting to hug her and not let go. "You know, if I didn't know any better? I'd think you were avoiding me," he says, giving her a look that isn't disappointed so much as hopeful that she's willing to open up.

[storybrooke_savior]

Since she was sitting out in the open, Emma supposed she had no one but herself to blame for being found. She shrugged a little, staring down at her lap, fingers absently shredding a receipt in the pocket of her hoodie.

"If it makes you feel any better, I've been avoiding everyone," she offered. "Not just you."

[princehonorable]

"I don't know if that makes me feel better," David points out, given that he really doesn't like seeing his only daughter like this. He understands -- he can understand as much as anyone, having lost Snow so many times he's actually lost count -- but he's never really been the one to be optimistic.

That's more Snow's thing. "C'mon," he encourages. "I'm treating you to lunch."

[storybrooke_savior]

"Look, dad, I'm doing my best," Emma sighed, tipping her head back to stare up at the grey sky. At least the weather had the decency to match her shitty mood.

She looked like crap on toast, she knew, but she was a little beyond caring, and maybe eating something other than junk food and wine would help her feel less like crap on toast. "Yeah, okay. Sure."

[princehonorable]

"I don't expect anything from you," he reminds her gently, because he doesn't need her to be anything for him. He just wants to make sure she knows that he's there for her when she needs him. "Neal's being looked after, so it's just me and my baby girl," he dotes fondly, wrapping his arm up in hers as he helps her up from her feet. "Diner food okay?"

[gloriouscurse]

Regina wasn't worried. No where in her did she have one ounce of worry for the Savior.

Except that was a total lie, and Regina knew it was a lie the minute she thought it. And so, that was why after just a little pushing from their son she was using her magic to search for Emma and poofing herself right to the bench. Locator spells were fantastic, and she crossed her arms over her chest as she just looked at her. Not critically, but because she had exactly zero clue what to say. Comforting people who weren't Henry was a little beyond her, still.

But she did know what it was like to want to make someone or something answer for losing a person.

"Come with me," she finally decided, bringing up a hand to poof them both, but not before Emma's agreement. "We're going to, in the crassest way I know how to put it, blow shit up." Those were words she'd never in her life thought she'd say, ever, but the corner of her mouth twitched up in a smile. Emma'd been there for her already more times than Regina could remember. It surprised her (but it wasn't an unwelcome feeling) that she wanted to help.

[storybrooke_savior]

When Regina materialized beside her, Emma merely side and waved her hand in front of her face to waft the residual smoke away. Her shoulders hunched higher as Regina peered down at her, and she was hyper-aware of the fact that she had half-wet hair, baggy-eyes and not a stitch of makeup on.

"All right, go ahead, say it, I look like shit," she quipped with a poor attempt at a smile. It slipped down into puzzlement at Regina's order, only to hitch back up as she elaborated. "I feel like I should probably say, no, we can't do that, but what the hell." She levered herself up off of the bench, only a little unsteady for a moment. "I could go for some angry destruction right about now."

[gloriouscurse]

"Your wardrobe is something I've always made fun of, nothing's changed."

With a wave of her hand they were far away from any building or homes, surrounded by trees. "Channel your anger and hurt, and aim it at the trees," she encouraged, leading by example and hitting a tree with a large fireball. And then, she put out the flame with her magic, so that Emma wouldn't have to worry.

Regina was ready to help, in her own odd way. She would put out the fire, she would let Emma do what she needed.

[storybrooke_savior]

Emma tugged her hands out of her pockets and frowned at the trees in front of them. It was winter, so they looked...very, very flammable. She wriggled her fingers, clenching and unclenching her hands as she lifted them to aim at the same tree Regina had nearly incinerated and thought, I hate this stupid fucking city so much.

The resulting fireball wasn't quite as impressive as Regina's, though for someone who struggled to light candles and campfires, it was a definite improvement.

[cassidyneal]

The thing that sucks the most about this place is exactly what Emma's upset about, and Neal's walking with his hands in his pockets, a little disturbed that first of all, disappearances can happen that fast with no warning, and second, he never even had the chance to talk to Hook again. He knows that they were from different points in time, knows Hook probably wouldn't have been as open to an amicable conversation. But he hadn't even been able to try.

Not that his thoughts on the matter are as upsetting as what Emma's going through. So when he sees her on the bench, and hears her, Neal sinks down beside her. "Yeah. I think that about sums it up."

[storybrooke_savior]

Emma glanced up and chuffed softly, continuing to drag the toe of her boot through the loose gravel. "Excessive words not required, right?" she quipped weakly, then blew out a breath that fogged in the cold air. "Just one, good, angry curse word to put it all in a messy little package."

[cassidyneal]

Leaning over with his elbows on his knees, Neal looks over at her. "This is just until you go home, you know?" He knows he'll have to watch everyone leave eventually, but he's trying to help her feel better.

"I know that doesn't do to much for the right now, which still really fuckin' sucks. Anything I can do?"

[storybrooke_savior]

"I know that." Part of why Emma hated that she was letting herself get like this, it wasn't like she'd never see him again. Thing was, it wasn't just about Killian anymore. It was this whole stupid city, and all the games it played. What about when Delsin left? She'd never see him again. Henry would lose his father, all over again.

It just sucked.

"I'll be all right," she assured him with a shrug, tipping her head back and staring up at the cloudy grey sky. "I just...I'll miss him."

[wanttobeahero]

Henry tried so hard to be more mature than most kids his age, tried to take on adult responsibilities and help with things he'd never experienced. At a certain point, he knew that he just couldn't help with everything because there were things he couldn't understand; relationships, for one. He knew about love, but not...romantic love. He'd seen his mom resist it before, and he understood why she did, but whenever she started to open up, it made him happy for her. And now Hook was gone, and Henry was just worried. He knew about loss, but not this kind of loss. He wanted to help his mom more than anything, but he worried that he couldn't.

That wouldn't stop him from trying, though. He'd never stop trying to do anything he could to make her feel a little better.

He gave her some space, though, for a little while, and though he was technically with Regina right now, his mind was elsewhere. He'd texted her and hadn't heard back soon enough to allay his worry, so he just decided to go look for her. He wasn't sure what to say or do necessarily, but he wanted to be there, at least.

Wordlessly, he approached and just looked at her for a moment. Then, he took off his scarf and draped it over her shoulders as he took a seat beside her on the bench. For right now, he just sat there with his shoulder pressed against hers, not asking or saying anything, just offering warmth and love.

[storybrooke_savior]

Emma was doing her best to walk the line between not shutting Henry out, and not leaning on him while still letting him be there for her. It was hard for Emma to let people be there for her; that she was trying at all was a pretty big step for her.

"Hey kid," she said quietly, tugging his scarf a little more securely around her neck and tipping her head to rest it briefly against the top of his head. "I hate all the ice cream," she remarked, to explain why she was outside the apartment sitting under-dressed in the cold.

[wanttobeahero]

His forehead rested against hers in return for a moment, and he smiled softly at her before pulling back. He understood on some level what she was thinking because he knew people could just disappear from Darrow, and sometimes they might come back, and sometimes they wouldn't. And if his dad disappeared, that would be it. Sometimes this place was just really unfair, and he wished he could protect his mom from that.

But he figured that a lot of other people might try and get her to talk. Talking was good, he knew, but...sometimes it just wasn't what you needed. He didn't think his mom needed that right now.

"I could buy us ice cream and pizza and we could stay up late watching dumb movies," he offered hopefully.

[storybrooke_savior]

She smiled; it wasn't much of a smile, but it was the broadest and most genuine smile Emma had managed as of late. It didn't surprise her in the least that it was Henry getting it out of her.

"That's the best offer I've had in weeks," she agreed easily, shifting to wrap her arm around Henry's shoulder and squeeze. "Maybe we could go a few rounds on Super Smash Bros. I'm in a Princess Peach kinda mood."

[confidenceman]

The convenience store that Emma had chosen that day was a usual haunt of Sawyer's. He went there on occasion to pick up a pack of beer, or to glance through the tabloids, or to raid the usually discounted novels that they had on hand — sometimes they were of higher quality than one would have thought. That day, he was only there to pick up a few smokes, but upon noticing Emma rush down an aisle and then head outdoors, he picked up a couple extra bottles of beer to go along with it.

Shrugging off his heavy leather coat and draping it over Emma's shoulders, he then held out one of the pair of bottles in front of her.

"Drink with me?"

[storybrooke_savior]

It startled Emma a little to have a sudden warmth draped over her shoulders; she supposed the polite thing to do would've been to say Oh, no, I'm okay and give the coat back, but really, she was freezing.

"Thanks." She managed a half-smile and accepted the offered bottle. "Better than drinking alone, I guess," she remarked as she twisted the top, and thought she'd probably been doing a little too much of that lately. "How's it going, hot shot?"

[confidenceman]

"More concerned with how you're doin', to be honest," Sawyer said, figuring that he might as well put all of his cards on the table. There was no reason to deny his concern for her, and maybe by being upfront about it, he'd get a clearer idea of what Emma most needed in order to cope. Some people needed avoidance. Some people needed to talk it out.

Something told Sawyer that in this, Emma was more likely to be similar to himself.

"I'm just glad I've found someone to drink with. Someone who ain't just someone I know from work."

[storybrooke_savior]

"I'm pretty shitty." Since they were being upfront, she figured what the hell. Her lips twisted slightly in a wry smile before she lifted the beer and took a healthy sip.

Lowering the bottle, she dragged her thumbnail across the edge of the label until it curled away from the glass. "You have anyone disappear on you since you've been here?" she asked, scraping the paper away from the bottle in a long, steady strip.

[thiefwithhonor]

Robin had heard, of course, of what had happened. Loss of a loved one was something he unfortunately knew far too much about, and while he wished to offer any support he might be able to give, he understood she likely needed space as well. Really, the day he came across her was by accident, though he made a point to walk over.

"Hello, Emma," he said, if only to gain her attention.

[storybrooke_savior]

Semi-zoned out, Emma blinked up and focused on Robin, a half-smile briefly touching her lips before fading just as quickly. "Hey Robin," she returned, glancing down at the bench to make sure she wasn't taking up more than her share, in case he wanted to sit. She wasn't, as it turned out, taking her half out of the middle. "How's it going?"

[thiefwithhonor]

The shift to give him room to sit felt like an invitation, which he took, sitting himself down beside her. She seemed a bit out of it, which, given the circumstances, was understandable.

"Oh, I just got off from work. Bit of a slow day," he admitted, glancing at her. "It's good to see you. How are you doing?"

[storybrooke_savior]

"I guess I've been better," Emma admitted with a shrug, figuring she might as well be honest. She was pretty sure she looked like hell, so an 'I'm fine, really' would've been a very obvious lie. "I'll be all right. It just...really pisses me off this place gets to take people away from us anytime it damned well pleased."